Friday, December 9, 2016
It's the hour when most people are asleep, cozy in bed and curled up next to their significant other. It's the time when the most sincere, unfiltered thoughts find their way into shallower waters of the mind and let themselves have the spotlight for a short moment.
It's the hour when I can let myself think about you and what we can have together and not be burdened by the day's things to do or people to meet. It's the time I get to linger in the place in my mind where you reside 24/7. Everywhere all at once.
Baby... I love it when you call me your baby. Your voice is music to my ears. I don't kid when I tell you you'd make a good ASMR artist. It has a texture to it that makes women's hearts melt. I know that from experience. It has that throaty growl and that adorable accent I've always been attracted to, one that becomes more evident when you give me a call upon your waking. Each sigh, each breath, each word that comes out of your mouth gives me a sense of calm.
When we shared a night together a few months back, just your presence was enough to knock me out for a whole 8 hours of sleep. Not that you're a boring companion but because - well - I felt like I could do anything and you'd still be there when I woke up. And you were.
I used to hate it when you call me "honbun" or "honey bunny", but the more I hear you speak it, the more endearing and warming it feels. How the letters roll out of your tongue like sweet, decadent chocolate syrup on pancakes.
Every time you wake me up with that sweet, sleepy voice of yours, I can't help but smile and want to stay in bed longer. Why would I want to leave the safety and truthfulness of you when I know the world only sees what they want in me? If I could, I'd lie in bed just listening you talk about anything - and that would be my happiness.
Baby, do you remember the day we first met? We were just kids then and had no real notion of "love" and "forever", but we knew how annoying the other could be at times. I disliked you for being immature and loud; you didn't like me for being the stuck-up Miss Priss I was at second grade. Funny how the world creates a story weaved into the likeness of ours.
When you asked me to be yours years back, I didn't think it would matter if I said yes or no. I didn't think you'd stick around after figuring out all my flaws. I didn't think you'd still find me attractive once we started living our own lives away from each other.
What did you see in me that you thought was worth chasing, huh? I'm not beautiful. I'm not a millionaire. I'm not the smartest human being. I'm not perfect. I'm not the type a guy could introduce to their family and be accepted into the "gene pool". What made you say to yourself you'd be better off with someone like me and not with those gorgeous model friends of ours that obviously think I'm not worth your time?
I'll never forget the way your eyes gain that dark and smokey stare when you tell me how much you love me and sends welcome chills up my spine. I didn't think I could ever be loved like that. Still having issues with that if I'm being honest. But, you've proven me wrong. Thank you.
Baby, when we celebrate your birthday on the 15th, please be assured that whatever I do, I'll be doing out of love for you. Don't ever think I was forced or coerced into doing "the surprise". Though I have restrictions on my end from telling the world I belong to you, I want you to read this and know I have no reason to reject you, or make you feel like you haven't given me every bit of you.
Simply put, I just love you, and I think... I'm ready.