Stuck in the middle

I used to be addicted anime. I'd download heaps of online references whose style I wanted to emulate, and for a time, I was doing fine. That came to a halt when I discovered watercolor painting.

Once I got into it, I decided to buy a few materials like water brushes, traditional paintbrushes, acrylics, gouache, watercolor tubes, Sakura pan watercolors - I just kept hoarding. After that, I was hooked with journaling and buying planners (they're pretty expensive rin pala!). I then bought a LOT of materials to decorate my new baby, from stickers to stamps, from custom refills to paper tapes - you name it. 



After that little period, I was given an iPad Pro to play with and so I shifted back to doing digital things, like logos, portraits, sticker designs, and the like. A few weeks ago, I began to miss watercolors and brush calligraphy, and went back to doing that.




Yesterday though, I found myself in the middle of a forest. I was in the middle of everything I loved to do, and I was lost. Lost is a mild word to describe my dilemma, honestly. It's a battle I've lost to over and over for years, practically ever since I started college. As cheesy as it sounds, I often ask myself what I really want to focus on. It seems like I know how to do numerous things, but I'm not incredible at any of them.

If you check my Instagram, my feed is all over the place. There's food, there's watercolor paintings, there are letterings and brush work... which one is my own?

The problem includes who I am as an artist. Am I a blogger, or a digital artist? I can be both, but then, if I am both, and an offer comes by that seeks to hire a person for each role, which do I choose? I've faced this dilemma before, and it wasn't an easy choice to make.

Yeah, I get it - I'm still young and figuring things out for myself, yada yada yada. I'm just a little concerned over the fact that some of my friends have already found their focus when I'm still blindly running around.

I'm seriously asking for advice here. What should I do first? I have plans written down, but they're also all over the place.