It's definitely an awesome time to be alive because today, I met someone who'll help me get back on track with my Christian life.
It's been a few years since I've had a proper ministry at church and to be totally honest, I've felt dry all this time. Dry in the sense that even though I do my devotions, there's no one to help me dig deeper. On my own, it's just my knowledge being tossed back and forth - stagnant water, if you will.
It's high time for a refill of fresh, clean water.
Getting into the ministry and feeling comfortable with the people at church will no doubt be a journey on its own. I'm an ambivert (but most of my acquaintances and friends say I'm DEFINITELY an extrovert), and my level of confidence varies from person to person. That being said, I won't let that get in the way of my thirst for God. A thirst that has been pushed aside for so long that I've become accustomed to being parched. A thirst that had no right to be there for THAT long.
It's taken me this long to finally do something about it, and the guilt is just TOO MUCH. I do what I can to try to make up for my inactivity in the Lord's work but it's never enough. It'll never be enough until I become active at church, do regular devotions, connect with other Christians, and stay committed.
Sounds easy, but hard to execute. You're committed when, no matter how busy and stressed you are, you still make time for it. Even if it goes beyond what you say you signed up for, you still do it.
Why has it been so hard for me to stay committed to something? I start a project but often neglect to finish it. I get bored easily. But there's no room for boredom in a dynamic, living body. The church is dynamic. There's always something going on in God's kingdom, so why is it so difficult to get involved?
Frankly speaking, it's my inability to focus directly on God instead of people. There's always something that demotivates me from diving deeper. People are superficial - either that or they really don't care as much. (What am I going on about? This is turning into an incredibly long post about my attitude problems.)
Back to the topic, I'm living for this moment. It's the lightest I've ever felt in a good while. I almost bared my soul to tita Monet today, and I have mixed feelings. She's really easy to talk to and I feel like we can talk about anything for hours. Do I bare more of myself? Do I expose myself more? It's probably because I know she's a Christian and won't use my secrets against me but still. (Aaanndd... we're going off-topic once again.)
Right now, I'm seeing great potential in my involvement with the church. I want to be used to glorify God and be trained not to have second thoughts about anything regarding doing His bidding. I WANT TO STOP PUTTING HIM ASIDE. I mean, I've put my career in front of me for most of my life. When will it be God's time?
I know, I know - my blog wasn't meant for these kind of posts, but it is a lifestyle blog, and to be Christian is to live as Jesus did.
I'm guessing it's time to move forward, haha. \m/