#81: Day 3 – Flaws

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it?

Probably the fact that when I lie, I get away with it. So this is a confession aye? It’s not that I can’t help it – we all lie, and no one can say that they’ve never lied to anyone before. It’s a natural human response. But I’m really guilty about it all the time, and some of the lies I told years back still linger in my head. In those silent moments, I recall the lies I’ve told. As I indirectly said, it can be helped, but whenever I panic or when I want someone to like me, I lie.

I remember once when I a friend asked a favor from me for a project at school. I could see she was in desperate need of help, and when she asked for mine, I said yes, and I offered to extend it as much as she needed me to. No sooner than I said it, I realized I couldn’t do what she asked of me by the following day. I became so stressed and I thought about solutions even as I ate dinner and did homework.

Know what I did? I made up an excuse. I told her I wasn’t able to do it because of another commitment I had and that I couldn’t escape from it and such. I told her that I really wanted to do it, but just didn’t have the time. And you know what? She believed me. That made me feel sooo rotten. I felt like I betrayed her and stabbed her in the back. I‘ve always believed that people who give excuses are lame and just pitiful, and look what I did! :(. That was such a horrid time for me.

Then there was another time when I had just met a friend and we were getting to know each other. She told me she liked something about a certain band and asked if I liked them too. Again, I said yes. Until now, she has no idea I don’t even know who those singers are. :( . Another lie that got away.

What have I done about it?

Well, I’m trying to think straight. Most of the lies I said came from me being pressured, scared, too happy, or nervous, so I guess the solution would be to be calm about things, to avoid panicking, and to not think of people liking me and such. And that’s one of the hard things to do.

Thanks for hearing me yak. LOL.

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