#58: Sadness to follow…

I woke up crying today. A great way to celebrate the the first day of February right?

And no, it wasn’t because I had a bad dream or something. I was wide awake when my heart strings decided to get majorly tugged in two different directions. I cried for two things: one, because I’m going to be away for a long time from a person I really love to take care of my schooling, and two, I can’t bear to see that person alone with no humour in his life. I don’t want to see that person be heartbroken and such. I just CAN’T.

After being with him constantly for years, getting to bond and know him better – I don’t know if I’m ready to move anywhere without him. It scares me. It scares me so bad. You know how it feels like to tread on ice? I feel that way. I’m afraid that one move without him being there physically with me will be a wrong decision. :(

I am so FEAKING SCARED right now. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to move on just yet. Not without being complete. Oh God, please, if there is any way to avoid what’s ahead, any other alternative than what’s already been planned – PLEASE show me! I want to stay where I am with him! With my family complete as well.

Why am I being so effing dramatic? It’s not like I’m going to die without him right? CRAP.

Sorry to anyone who’s getting so down and offended. :( But you guys have to understand, my connection with him just got so much closer these recent years, so I’m very upset with what’s going to happen in the future. Please pray for me! I’m so scared…